Thursday, January 10, 2013

Day 10 - Resistance

Today was one of those days where I was just trying to do the right thing all around.  Every attempt fumbled and the opposite effects resulted.

Am I just out of touch? Was it a series of tests that I completely failed? or Was part of the unseen war between good and evil?  It all came to a head when I ended up yelling at a fellow human being...was I yelling at them or at something deeper?

"If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." John 15:19

Sometimes I just feel that I am on the wrong planet.  I am tired of trying to do the right things and have even more challenging things happen.  I feel I am not being backed up at every turn.  God, are you there? Where are the hosts of angels helping me? Why are things turned around to always be my fault?  I take full responsibility for my part, but what about theirs? Where is the justice?

If God decided to take me home today, it would not be too soon.  I am tired.  I am trying to find the strength, but I am tired of always being the on self-correcting.  This continuing call for repentance, which is often met with resistance, is exhausting.

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